A Covenant for All Moms

Recently, I was at the store with my eldest son. We were picking up a gift for a friend but I had promised him we could take a look in the dollar spot for something for him when we were done. He had a few dollars saved and he was pretty excited to find a treasure. Unfortunately, the aisles in his price range were sparse and there just wasn’t anything he liked. He lingered scanning and rescanning the same shelves hoping to find something he had overlooked. It became apparent very quickly that he was experiencing a “money burning in my pocket” moment and so I encouraged him to hold onto his money. “There will be another opportunity to shop,” I assured him. And then he melted down. My somewhat level headed five-year-old flipped out and became very angry. He even tried to hit me and said that I was “soooo mean!” As I talked him down, we got in line to pay. He said again to me that I was mean. My response was: “I’m not mean. I’m just thinking about your future. I want you to be a kind and loving adult and that starts now with how we handle this situation.”

To be honest it was one of those moments where I needed to audibly justify my actions to any neighboring ears who might be listening in. On further reflection, however, it’s truth. My decisions today affect my child’s future. The decisions I make might cause me to “feel” like, or be viewed as, the worst parent on the planet but I’m not raising happy kids who get whatever they want. I’m hopeful I’m raising thankful, grace-giving, kind, loving soon-to-be adults.

Lysa TerKeurst recently posted the following on Facebook:

“I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with 3 simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:

1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.
2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.
3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.”

-Lysa TerKeurst

And that, my friends, is where I want to focus my energy as I raise these precious children who have caused me to experience some of the most breath-taking days of my life. Some have taken my breath away with their beauty. Others have made me take deep breaths to keep from losing it.

In the past few weeks, we’ve owned the realities of allowing the actions of our kids to change the temperature of the day and therefore our perceived value as mothers. We’ve learned that “crazy happens” with kids. We continue to learn to love ourselves because of who we are and not base it on the behaviors and successes of our children. We’ve committed to ditch the comparison game and focus on raising adults who need love, guidance, and correction over and over again.

It’s time, dear mommas. Time to toss the ther{MOM}eters that are focused on ME and MY circumstances and instead place our focus on the recipients of our calling. Our precious children.

Let’s go raise some beautiful, strong, passionate, kind, Christ-following adults.

Mommy Covenant

Here it is friends. Will you read the following aloud and covenant with myself and women everywhere to toss the ther{MOM}eters of comparison?

Being a mom is both the greatest and most difficult life-time calling a woman can undertake. I covenant with women everywhere to change the way I view my success as a parent.

When I place my head on my pillow, I will ask myself:

“Do I love my children?”

“Do I want the absolute best for them?”

With the resounding yes’s echoing in my mind, I will know that no matter the behavior my kids demonstrated in the hours prior, or the countless times I nailed it or failed terribly, I will get up again and love again. I will discipline with grace again. I will do what is best for my family.

I will lock arms with other mothers, throw out the ther{MOM}eter gauge, stop judging others and myself and dare to live out the words of Philippians 4:8

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

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