The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men; but that men will begin to think like computers.
Sydney Harris
Raising Computers?
Not now! I need coffee! The windshield wipers flexed frantically back and forth. I looked to the sky for signs of a break in the rain, but the clouds only darkened in response. I held the hood of my raincoat tightly at the neck and began my 30-yard dash to the coffee shop entrance.
Plnk, plnk, plnk. I made it to the sidewalk and swung open the door perhaps a little more dramatically than I intended. I approached the counter where the barista stood. Smiling, I waited for a greeting, but none came. After an awkward pause, I decided greetings are over-rated and placed my order. His fingers typed.
Without looking up he said, “Do you want that hot or cold?”
“Hot, please,” I answered and pulled out my card to pay. My new friend was again silent. No total. No, “that will be a few moments.”
Just silence.
With my purchase complete, he turned to work on my order, and I took a seat to wait.
I was fidgeting with my phone when I noticed my pastry on the pickup counter. Did he call out my order? Must be my bad ears, I reasoned. A few moments later, I heard the announcement of my drink order. I took my fresh brew from the counter.
“Thank you!” I said to his already turned back.
I made my return dash to the car with coffee and pastry in hand. As I cranked the engine and turned up the heat, I asked myself, “What just happened?”
The young man wasn’t rude. He didn’t seem shy, either. He just didn’t— talk. It felt like I was interacting with a computer.
Other Encounters
Days later, I held the door open for a gentleman at Chick-Fil-A. I, with my three young children, watched as he walked right through the entry acknowledging us less than he would an automatic door.
On a date night with my husband, we waited in the lobby for our table. Across from us stood a man, his wife, teenage daughter and preschool son. Three of them stood, chins down, staring into their devices.
The Relational Disconnect
In a world of virtual connectivity, we have a relationship disconnect. We text, comment, go live and react, but we can’t sit across the table from one another and have an actual conversation. We brag about our significant others via social media but no longer possess the ability to look that same person in the eye and articulate what they mean to us in real time.
We text friends and family members who are in the same room.
We watch TV while scrolling Facebook and playing our daily Wordle.
We type we are praying for people who have lost a loved one, but we never cross the street to offer our presence or bring them a meal.
Raising Humans
As parents, we often joke “Where’s the handbook for how to raise your kid when you leave the hospital?” I can’t tell you how to physically raise your kid—bottle or breastfeeding, co-sleep or sleep training, public school or home school—those are personal choices that all demonstrate your love for your kids. I can, however, suggest some values to shape the way your child interacts with other people. We can raise kids who are “human” in their interactions with others.
Join me, over the next few weeks as we discover, or perhaps rediscover, the art of being genuinely human.
Read the next post Teaching Our Children Empathy HERE!
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